Anxious Item #2 e-mail

I remember when I first got the Internet. I was 12 and I was so freaking excited to figure out all the wonders the computer held in store for me. After a week I figured out that it was mostly porn and Geocities (RIP) sites about TV shows.

My Internet plan came with an IRC application and I became addicted. Real time chat was where it was at, baby! I became an op in a room and I knew all the codes to be able to type in every color. It was all I really did. I came home from school, did my homework, logged on to IRC and chatted with strangers in Germany until it was bedtime.

I don't remember when my IRC usage dropped off, I think it may have been around the time I entered high school. I had a falling out with my biggest friend IRL and we used to IRC together. When we got into a huge fight she talked shit about me on the Internet. I know, 14 year old girls using the Internet as a social weapon, who would have thunk it?

Anyway, this brings me to the form of communication we were left with in those pre-social networking days, e-mail. To this day, a full 11 years after my love affair with IRC ended, I am a shitty e-mail correspondent. I would rather have a face to face conversation than try to think of what to type out that wouldn't sound stupid or contrived.

When I get a nice, thoughtful e-mail I am paralyzed for a response. I want to type something that would make the receiver laugh, cry, and wet their pants all at the same time. I want to move the heavens and earth with my casual yet meaningful prose style. I want to be able to convey my deepest feelings and heartfelt wonder of life.

But mostly my replies are "Ok, thanks. See you later."

I don't know what my problem is with writing e-mails. I have Gmail and they say it is supposed to be like having a conversation, but I just can't get think of it like that. I get a nice note from someone who cares and I just can't bring myself to write a nice note back.

As for calling them, that is a whole different anxiety post.